Scandinavian News: Icelanders are fed up with some Tourists’ anti-social behaviour

Icelanders are experiencing several instances of anti-social behaviour from some tourists staying their country on a holiday break. Though they need tourism for their economy, they don’t need disrespectful behaviour.

The beautiful Scandinavian country of just over 330,800 people has been left reeling by these shameless visitors and local media is getting behind them.

Some inconsiderate tourists have been leaving litter, including plastic, which can last over a thousand years, whilst camping, and in South Iceland they plan to clamp down on nuisance behaviour by banning wild camping on public land completely. Litter can also harm farm animals and their unique wildlife and other animals.

There also have been reports that some holidaymakers have been killing farmers’ sheep whilst on camping trips.

Rural locals have reported tourists feeding the famous Icelandic horses despite being told not too, whilst others have been seen defaecating in public.

The British Foreign office has been informed (though I don’t have details of the actual nationalities involved).

As an huge fan of Iceland, its people and its environment, I hope to do my bit to Keep Iceland Tidy, even though I am far away in the UK. It is a great country, let’s all look after it and be a positive ambassador of your country when you visit it. If you are there, keep a look out for tourists who are spoiling the country, and contact your tour guide or hotel, who can help signpost you to the right people who can deal with such anti-social behaviour.

If you are a hotel, holiday company or connected with the tourist business in anyway, do encourage people to pick up their litter and respect the country. We can all be the change and I would love to hear what you do to help prevent this.

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Dealing with a suicidal person from overseas on Facebook

I belong to a forum about people going through difficult things and we had one person on the forum who said she was going to commit suicide today on a Facebook post.

My Suicide Prevention Course ‘kicked in’. Generally when they give you a ‘date’ or if you find out when, you go into emergency mode. However, the online system where Facebook is supposed to help that person didn’t appear ‘to work’. Facebook also didn’t bother to reply on on Twitter.

In the end, myself and a few others messaged her, and I encouraged her to book an appointment with the GP, let us know when she had done this, and said that we are here for her. We were lucky that Facebook showed us roughly where she was and she had an unusual name.

In the meantime, I also contacted the South African police station near her (a very expensive mobile phone call from the UK) and told them what happened. I said I was calling from the UK and they ‘didn’t fuss about the paperwork like they do in the UK’ but just gone on with it.

I will never know if they contacted the person, as maybe it is hard to get the IP address from Facebook in time but I am glad I did it. One person contacted one of their relatives and asked them to check she was ok. Sometimes they were estranged, but I think sometimes this has to be done if the police find it hard to get hold of the suicidal person. The moderator was a bit slow at first but once she knew what was happening went into action.

We tried to get hold of her, keep her talking on the forum although at some point she went missing online for a while.

However, it turns out, after two hours, she said to the moderator that she felt ‘ok’ and was really amazed ‘that people online cared for her’ and provided telephone helplines etc.

Sometimes something simple like talking and caring can help people get past that suicidal feeling and we have to remember to say to the suicidal person ‘that the feeling is only temporary’.

World Crisis Hotlines https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines

Use Google Maps to find a police station round the world: https://www.google.co.uk/maps

East Grinstead: Emin Society followers demand money from visiting people to Cult

Newcomers not far from East Grinstead have come across a strange cult, called ‘The Emin Society’ .

One person said that they discovered a group of people coming from this cult when their fellow flatmates had a small group in their house and popped in to visit just out of curiosity.

However, the Group just wanted the visitor to ‘just listen’ and not speak up and talk, and they also demanded money when the person tried to leave. The visitor refused to give them any as it was a waste of money.

The Emin Society is a highly secretive British New Age doomsday cult formed in 1970 by an encyclopaedia salesman called Raymond Armin, who now lives in the US. It was under an oak tree on Hampstead Heath that Armin first discovered ‘The Eminent Way’ which he shortened to ‘Emin’. It is also know as The Foundation for Human Development and the Earth School. There are now members in America, Australia and Israel.

Famillies are being ripped apart by members with symptoms of Narcissist Personality Disorder (NPD)

Numerous people, both men and women, are having to leave members of family who have symptoms of Narcissist Personality Disorder as they are unable to cope with domestic abuse, betrayal,lack of empathy and deceitful behavior anymore.

Many have tried to work out why they are their partners and sometimes siblings are the way they are but are coming to terms that there is nothing they can do as the condition is not curable, and that have to leave.Sometimes people with NCD ‘just get worse’ over time. Some family members just do not feel they are heard or loved. They are experiencing a lot of confusing mind games. One moment the Narcissist can be normal, but other times, they have a Narcissist rage out of nowwhere. People are constantly walking on eggshells with these people.

People with children, however, are ‘forced’ to have limited contact with their abusers. Many with no children are leaving their famillies entirely and going ‘No Contact’ whatsoever and building new and better lives without their family and ‘going it alone’.

Those who have been abused have felt depressed and suicidal. Some have committed suicide. The Narcissist wants ‘power and control’ over them.

Some desperate famillies have tried therapy but often it has been a disaster as the Narcissist generally says ‘it is all their fault’ and/or leaves therapy early.Most Narcissists do not accept they have a problem and won’t even go to therapy in the first place.

This isn’t just in family situations but it is happening also in the workplace too, where some Narcissists particularly target occupations where they can ‘control’ and have status, the police, military, security, management, community and religious leaders particularly popular occupations for Narcissists from seeing comments on various Narcissist Survivor forums. Some Pastors’ wives are having to leave their husband because of their behaviour, and this is often frowned upon in the church. Some Narcissists do not want their wives to work and keep them holed up with lots of children at home. If they work, this means the Narcissist has less control over them and the Narcissist will think they will meet other men at work.

Narcissist Personality is a Disorder of the Personality and is not a Mental Illness. There is no known cure.

Some symptoms of Narcissist Personality Disorder are:

1) They have a grandiose sense of self-importance.

2) They requires excessive admiration

3)Have a very strong sense of entitlement

4)Is exploitative of others

5)Lacks empathy

6)Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her
Regularly shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes

Frequently they also have these too:

7) Lying and making things up to manipulate you

8) Being Emotionally abusive

9) Physically Abusive

10) Financially Abusive

11) Spiritually abusive

12) Notorious for having a ‘Honeymoon Period’ in a Relationship where things are ‘perfect’ to start with. Things change once the relationship gets more serious, they marry and start to have children. There is an element of ‘control’. Many Narcissists have a poor relationship history, with many divorces and abandoned children. They will provide ‘plausible excuses’ or perhaps withhold background information, and that goes for convictions. The Police in the UK can help people who want to find out more about their future partner if they have domestic violence convictions.

13) Betraying Trust

14) Smear Campaigns

16) Stalking

17) Manipulation

18) Reproductive Coercion

19) Birth Control Sabotage

20) Treating children and partners as extensions of themselves. (Some say they are ‘treated like property’)

21) Trusting strangers rather than their own family

22) Addictions

2) Being friendly with strangers and hostile to close relatives, and sometimes close neighbours. They appear to ‘act’ with others, who think they are very nice people and would not believe that they can even be abusive.

Words Associated with Narcissists are (though these are not used in Counselling)

1) Love Bombing (attempting to influence a person by lavish demonstrations of attention and affection) in particular to get what they want

2) Gas Lighting (Gaslighting is a form of manipulation that seeks to sow seeds of doubt in a targeted individual or members of a group, hoping to make targets question their own sanity)

3) Projecting (blaming something on you, when he or she caused the problem. This is another tactic to bring confusion to the Target. They will not admit to doing anything wrong.

4)The Supply – the Target of the Narcissist. The Narcissist gets his or her ‘fuel’ from an empathic person who they will try and manipulate and control.

5) Flying Monkey – their friends or those who support the Narc

Get Help:

IAPT Counselling: http://www.nhs.uk/Service-Search/Psychological%20therapies%20(IAPT)/LocationSearch/10008. Ideally, try and find someone who specializes in NPD. Narcissists are notorious for not seeking any help, and if they do, they will blame it on others. It is helpful for the Target to get counseling for themselves and undertake plenty of self care and ask their doctor for help.

Relate: https://www.relate.org.uk/ (They provide counselling, and they have free online counselling but it can be busy

Police: Dial 999 in an Emergency /Dial 111 if not. (You maybe able to get a restraining order

There are also a number of Narcissist Abuse sites on Facebook (though it is safer to use a different name) as they can be stalked by members of the family and the Narcissist themselves.

Women’s Aid: http://www.womensaid.org.uk

A tip:

If you call someone a Narcissist, it is most likely that they will deny it and start further anti-social behavior targeted on you.  The best advice is to recognize what a Narcissist is to Leave, some say to ‘Run!’ though this may not always be easy to do.

Coping Ideas

1) Leave if you can!
2) Join a Mental Health/Wellbeing Support Group
3) Do something creative – art, singing, music of various sorts
4)Go and so some Voluntary Work and meet positive people
5) Walk in nature
6) Do something for animals
7) Raise awareness. Many people have never heard of Narcissist Personality Disorder
8) Ignore Narcissists – they hate to be ignored. Go ‘Grayrock’ – just speak in a general vague way that does not upset ‘the Narc’ on some way
9) Make your kids have love and praise
10) Leave and get a pet if you can. Learn to cope on your own. It is not necessary to have a partner. Learning to cope on your own is real empowerment
11) Do some Self-Care
12) Go on Self-Esteem and/or Self Defence Classes
13) Learn to be Yourself Again
14) Get a job
15) Learn new skills
16) Get new qualifications
17) Have Me-Time
18) Reward yourself when you have done something difficult

Beaulieu has experience of Narcissist Personality Disorder being in the family, and is currently estranged (No Contact)

Hygge, the Danish Art of ‘Cosiness’

 thAt the weekend I stopped trawling the internet, put on very low lighting, listened to calming piano music alongside a crackling fireplace and talked with my friend about deeper things in life (and some light things), and felt the fresh, autumnal wind in the air as the door was slightly ajar.  We had a nice cosy snack in the darkness too.

Every so often we all need a recharge of quiet and cosiness, in our crazy, rushed life. The Danish art of Hygge (pronounced hoo-gar) the art of cosiness, informal socialising, sharing and wellbeing  is particularly nice after a day at work. There is no English equivalent to the word.ey c

Having Viking origins this comes quite naturally to me, and I love the simplicity of it all. Autumn is a perfect time for hygge as nights draw in.  I will be looking for scented candles, picking  flowers , crafting,  making hot rosehip cordials and reading aloud short stories to fill my time for those quiet moments.

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 PHOTOLazy Sundays – ‘Britishstyle’ Hygge’ at Hej Coffee, Bermondsey

More information:

The Little Book of Hygge:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Little-Book-Hygge-Danish-Penguin/dp/0241283914/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1474802462&sr=8-1&keywords=hygge

The Danes also like to have a Happy Workplace – they have word called ‘Arbejdsglaede’ (pronounded Arbeits-Glay-der). Again, there is no English equivalent.