Roman Catholic Christenings without the Child’s Consent, my thoughts

I have been invited to a relative’s Roman Catholic Christening as the ‘aunt’ in Kent.

The father is an athiest but the mother is a Roman Catholic. The baby is being forced to be brought up in the Roman Catholic faith. The athiest father is reluctant for the child to be brought up as a Christian, but in order ‘to keep the peace’ with his wife and her traditional Roman Catholic parents, and Church pressure, he feels he has to. How many athiests get to lose this deal?

As a close relative of the child, we ourselves can make a stand against forced religion (and also circumcision and forced genital mutilation), while we are at it).

For example, we can show our presence, as ‘a gap’, by not attending the Christening, though this may or may not risk cultural problems in the family. There will, of course, be photos of the day, and the child may ask questions years later, as to why the aunt is missing, and that is a ‘good thing’. My other relatives will only be there because ‘it is their duty’. They are not Roman Catholic but Church of England, and generally only turn up for events like weddings and funerals (mostly funerals), a bit like Prince William.

Many of us were brought up in forced religion. I was literally forced to go to church and faith schools against my will and sometimes being spiritually abused for my differing beliefs, feel that children should choose their own religion, and that’s if they want one or not. I am a ‘Survivor’ of a family who rammed Christianity down my neck, well, my mother mostly. We even had services in my home. My father was an athiest.

The child is being made to support a religion, just because one or two parents support it, and this is wrong. In some families, people have different religions anyway, so how is it that sometimes the whole household has to ‘support’ one religion at least, for sixteen years?

Furthermore, finding Roman Catholic godparents is also a challenge these days too. And few of them, if found, are nothing more than present and W H Smith voucher givers and often don’t even see the child anyway. Priests don’t seem to be bothered that the child has no consent, this is also wrong. They want money for their church and robes. And the Church the child will be christened, has experienced sexual abuse and one of the Priests is in jail!

I for one will be turning down the invitation, but ‘graciously’ and I will state that I believe that children should decide for themselves, which is perfectly reasonable. I am tempted to even go to the Catholic Church and voice my objection, and have it written in the notes. As an Aunt, I will make it clear that I fought for my nephew’s rights to choose.

De-baptism Links http://romancatholicism.co.uk/debaptism.html
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7941817.stm

Anger over Sex Offender Chan, Cheuk-Kiu, 25, from Hong Kong, China, still studying at Newcastle University

A male serial child groomer, currently living in Gatehead in the North of England, was caught by paedophile hunters, Dark Justice and Guardians of the North, on several occasions, trying to meet vulnerable young boys, has been allowed, it is allegedly, to stay on at Newcastle University in the UK, despite being on the Sex Offenders’ Register for five years and undergoing a Sex Offenders’ Programme.

And if he is meeting at them in the University halls, this opens other safety issues and then of course, he would be using university computers.


People here are furious that he has also not been deported back to Hong Kong or even jailed.

Dark Justice said on The UK and Ireland Database for Crimes against Children, “We are worried he will go somewhere else and do it again. A community order for a period of three years is nothing, it’s not really punishment.”

The Guardians of the North spokesman said “It’s a damn disgrace. You can understand getting a community order for one offence but for two it’s taking liberties.

“The judges at Newcastle Crown Court are playing russian roulette with our children. It’s not on at all, it’s a disappointing result.

“The fact he’s still able to sit in university and continue with his studies, it’s unbelievable.

Newcastle University, according to its Mission Statement, is committed to
‘social responsibility, transparency and excellence’.

Beaulieu has asked Newcastle University to comment but there has been no reply. Will keep you updated. I haven’t seen a statement from them either.

This story here does make you wonder how many current sex offenders are studying at top universities and colleges unbeknown to other students, and this article has been sent to BBC Panorama and Channel 4 Dispatches to see if they can make further investigations on this issue. After all, famillies visit student halls to visit their relatives or attend functions. It seems to be that Universities nowadays are not fussy now who they get, as long as they have good results and the money to fund the course.

(The link to the story is here: https://www.facebook.com/TheUKdatabase/ and search for Cheuk-kiu Chan. ) and it is also in the Sun https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/4246847/dark-justice-paedophile-hunters-student-cheuk-kiu-chan-caught-underage-boys/

Charlie Gard: Thanks to Great Ormond Hospital

I sent a postcard to Great Ormond Children’s Hospital to thank them for all their hard work, often working very long hours helping all the children at the hospital and keeping their dignity and professionalis in trying months.

It was shocking to hear of protests outside the hospital and of all the abuse they they have been receiving, so much so that the hospital has had to contact the police. Staff are busy and stressed enough as it is, just doing their normal job, without the circus adding to it all. They were not respected at the time, and they are experts in their field. Charlie should die with dignity, but it has been a horrible, media circus and didn’t really go anywhere.

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If you would like to donate to the Great Ormond Street Hospital, and support their charity, the link is here http://www.gosh.org/

London: Icecream Van in Southwark Park, a ‘Pollution Hazard’

The engine of the icecream van in Southwark Park, in Bermondsey, has been belching out toxic fumes all throughout the summer.

The van has been emitting fumes for hours on end, very close to an outdoor café, which is popular with young children and families and is right by a children’s playground.

The air is so thick that some café users complained to me of headaches, breathing problems and a ‘bitter taste’ in the mouth. Experts say that toxic black carbon is particularly bad for babies (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4503306/Britain-s-ageing-ice-cream-vans-belching-pollution.html).

The Park is owned by Southwark Council, which is Labour-run. Sadiq Khan, the Mayor of London, is keen to reduce fumes in London.

Southwark Park, is a lovely park, but it is such a shame that the air round part of area is so bad.

The icecream van should be moved to a more suitable location.

Watch this space for Updates on the situation.

My Frugal Birthday Experience Idea

People are spending far too much money on gifts, and so much time hunting for them. Also birthday gifts can create even more ‘clutter’ in your house.

We are in the era of families not meeting ‘properly’ and ‘talking’. People can be very isolated now. I find when people meet at birthday dinners people don’t ‘really talk’, and some of them, don’t find birthday dinners fun, perhaps they hate mingling. Some of us feel ‘forced to go’ if relatives are more distant. Also, there is not much to do, and introverts like me, find them uncomfortable. Birthday meals can be very pricey for everyone.

I thought that instead of having a ‘proper’ birthday gift or dinner. I would have an experience, and I am not just talking about an experience that is just for me, ie those Red Letter Days type of experience, which also can be expensive but something everyone will generally enjoy.

I wanted a more frugal and Scandinavian ‘hygge’ experience. So what I thought was for me and a few of my friends and relatives to visit a wildlife rescue centre – that way it would be interesting and educational and it would make a difference to the animals there. It maybe a bit ‘sad’, but I think the fact that all of us will being doing something to help, will really make a ‘mark’ on everyone.

They could make a donation too, and even a small donation, can make a big difference with several people going. There maybe a ‘shop’ there or they could bring in food and bedding for the animals. People with children can also go along, so it would be good for them too. They will also see how much damage cars can cause with our wildlife, that will be an eye opener too. You never know, the trip may mean that the charity will get more donations in the long run, and even new volunteers. The trip could inspire people to do good things. Birthdays can also be ‘serious too’ but I think it is important to have some light bits in it, to balance things out.

Afterwards, we would have an informal picnic somewhere, and people would bring their own things to share. People will be able to talk more ‘normally’ than in a formal, restaurant setting. I am a huge fan of picnics. They remind me of my childhood and I don’t see why we can’t have more ‘picnic birthdays’. My birthday is in July so I’m quite lucky in having reasonably good weather, though we will need a ‘back up’ if it rains, of course!

I was lucky to discover that there is a good dog show nearby as well, and suggested we go there afterwards, if they wanted to. That would give them a bit of flexibility too so they didn’t have to stay if the couldn’t. Most people in my family are animal lovers and I think animals and birthdays are a ‘great frugal mix’. There is something to do too, not just talk.

I already I have had people saying they want to ‘swipe my idea’ which is great. I am not celebrating it until in two week’s time, but if you want to have a ‘frugal birthday’, and one where you can ‘make a difference’, you don’t have to celebrate it on your day, as there may be things that are fun that are around on a different day, perhaps in your own area. My experience can be great for ‘keeping things local’ and reducing air miles, if your friends and relatives are local.

I really like this the animal charity birthday idea as this will make a difference to the animals too, and I hope my relatives and relatives will talking about this ‘birthday experience’ for years to come. Maybe they will do something similar too?

Just for your info, I will be going to Folly Wildlife Rescue, in Tunbridge Wells http://www.follywildliferescue.org.uk/ and keep you posted.

Christening and Naming Ceremony?Think of the Child

I think being ‘forced’ to be raised as a Christian or any other faith is wrong. I like the idea of ‘naming ceremonies’ so the child can choose whether it wants to follow a religion or not. I would respect the child’s wishes.

One of my relatives is a Catholic and already, the baby is going to have a christening because ‘it is tradition’. This totally disrespects his own future beliefs. I would actually say that the Christian faith is so dominant, that even the atheist father has ‘no say’ either. I would add that he is not too happy either, but ‘is going along’ to keep the peace.

The baby has godparents too, but they appear to be Church of England and not Churchgoers, unless, of course, there is a wedding, christening and funeral.I don’t think they could even find Catholics!

I am not attending the Christening as it is a religious ceremony and it goes against my own values, but I am getting them a nice present which has no religious meaning, but is thoughtful. The parents are ok about that, as ‘they know what I am like’. Going would also be ‘feeding this culture’ of forced religion.

I was brought up in an atheist and Christian household. I was lucky to have one atheist in my family rather than two true believer Christians. However, I was very much ‘verbally, physically and spiritually abused’ if I did not go to Sunday School by one parent. I was forced to go to a Christian school, one being a Convent too. I had no say. I was an atheist throughout my whole life and remember saying so in childhood.

When the nuns asked me if I would like to be confirmed, I said ‘No’. This gave me a feeling of triumph. I was well aware they had previously used the cane too and I have seen abuse in the Convent by some teachers. They had lower values to me. I have other experiences of the faith too, mostly negative. However, I thought that was the first time I was heard, and that was actually in a bloody Convent. I did have a lot of respect for some sisters, like Sister Bernadette, but not for the other ones. She used to show us secret war-time tunnels in the Convent Chapel, and I loved that, but not her religion, although I thought some rituals were ‘cool’.

Choosing to be follow a religion, should not be taken lightly, particularly with Catholicism, with its outdated rules, and also as so many priests have abused children. This is now a worry to me as a friend was abused by someone in the Church of England. He hasn’t gone to the police yet though. I will have to keep an eye on the child’s safety, from a distance.

Come on parents, let the child choose whether it wants to follow a religion or not. Give them a Naming Ceremony. Otherwise it is a form of abuse, and the child won’t have respect for you.

DIY British Sherbet: Review

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I made some sherbet today and I wanted to test it out.

Now, I am an aunt, so ‘I have to do ‘aunt things’ and get into practice for when I need it.

I was inspired by a stall selling sherbet at a Food Fair at Syon Park. They did lots of flavours, including pizza (which I am still working on). This particular recipe is a ‘plain one’ other than a few sprinkles. If you add liquid, like coconut flavouring, there will be a ‘fizzy reaction’. The photo above was when I put flavouring in it, so it is a bit ‘ball’ like but you don’t need to use any flavouring so it will be more powdery looking.

In the UK, sherbet is traditional eaten with a stick of licorice or eaten with the fingers. Nowadays, cooks use it as a topping for ice creams.

INGREDIENTS

Citrus Acid powder (I got this online, but you can apparently get it at pharmacies)

Bicarbonate of Soda

Sprinkles and/or edible glitter (from a cake decoration shop)This adds a little texture and colour if you want it.

Icing Sugar (be generous)

Vintage Sweet Bags (You can get a good range, blue, green, yellow, black and ‘mixed’ on Amazon.

Optional: Licorice sticks from Simpkins on Amazon (not licorice roots) If you can find a good health or candy store, even better as you don’t have to pay for any delivery charge.

Tip: You only need a little citrus acid powder and bicarbonate of soda. The more citrus acid you use, the more ‘sour’ it is.

REVIEW: It is not bad at all.You don’t need to buy sherbet in the shops now, it works! It is fun to have a variety of sprinkles to make it more unique and ‘homemadey’. I would give it a 9/10 and a Gold Star in ‘Aunt Points’

World Narcissist Abuse Awareness Day 1 June 2017

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Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day (WNAAD) occurs on June 1st every year. Established in 2016, WNAAD is a growing global movement dedicated to raising the profile of narcissistic abuse, providing public education, resources for survivors, and effect policy change. WNAAD is an international event that is recognized worldwide.

Many of the people who suffer from narcissistic abuse (a form of psychological and emotional abuse) aren’t even aware that what they are experiencing is a legitimate form of abuse, and when they become aware they are being abused, they have a difficult time describing it because it’s so hard to put the finger on. So much of it can be covert.

WNAAD came up with the hashtag, #IfMyWoundsWereVisible, because unlike physical abuse where a single strike or blow, narcissist abuse is generally invisible. An indiscernible assault on the spirit, identity, and the psyche of the victim. The impact is cumulative, and its full effect isn’t felt until the damage is extensive. Although bruises and broken bones heal much faster than a broken spirit, narcissistic abuse tends to go unnoticed.

Narcissist Abuse is controlling, anti-social and manipulative behaviour. Narcissist abuse is experienced everywhere, workplaces, religious groups, education, not for profits, in the armed forces, and families.

It is also important that those in Human Resources know about narcissist abuse in the workplace, often the victim is not believed.

People need to learn about ‘Red Flags’ before they enter into a relationship with someone and recognize them in workplaces early on, and learn how to handle them and avoid them. Many people living or working in close proximity to full on narcissists have had to leave their family or place of work, some have had Complex PTSD because of the abuse.

My own experience of narcissist abuse experience ranges from emotional neglect, lack of empathy from the abuser , abnormal hostile behaviour ‘behind closed doors’ at home or in the workplace, smear campaigns, emotional blackmail, secretive behaviour, mind games – the abuser makes everything your fault, financial blackmail, lack of support by fellow colleague or family member, anti social behaviour, passive aggressiveness, covert, controlling and public humiliating behaviour, violence and betrayal. Walking on eggshells every day too. Both men and women can be narcissists, and many people have parents and siblings who are ‘narcs’.

Some red flags in a relationship, for example, according to WNAAD.com:

◾As the relationship becomes more established, you may start to see some stronger warning signs, or red flags, such as: You may spot bigger lies, and when you confront them, you never get a straight answer or they will turn it around and accuse you of what they’re actually doing.

◾If you try to raise an issue with them, it becomes a full-blown argument. They may accuse you of causing the fight, or they may use the silent treatment as a way of punishing you for confronting them.
◾Arguments feel circular and nonsensical. You’re left feeling emotionally battered and confused. There is no resolution to the issue, no sense of compromise or seeking a win/win outcome. It feels like they need to “win” regardless of the issue or what’s at stake. You’re left you feeling unsupported and misunderstood.

◾They may tell you something didn’t happen when you know it did, or vice versa. This is called gaslighting and it’s designed to make you doubt your own reality and judgment.

◾You feel like you need to ask for permission before making plans with others. They may try to control where you go, or call and text constantly to check up on you, and interrogate you about where you’ve been/what you’ve been doing.

◾You start seeing less of your family and friends. Perhaps because they openly prevent you from doing so through guilt tripping or threats of abandonment. Or, it could be more subtle, where they make such a fuss about seeing your family and friends that you start avoiding them so you don’t have to deal with the fallout. You end up feeling isolated and lonely.

◾The relationship feels one-sided – like you are the one who is doing all the giving, the one who is always in the wrong, the one who is trying the hardest, changing the most or doing the most sacrificing, just to make them happy. And it still doesn’t work. Nothing is enough for them.

◾You can’t feel at ease or relaxed in their presence. You feel like you’re walking on eggshells, waiting for the next time they lash out at you. You realize you feel a sense of relief when they aren’t there.

◾You feel like whatever you do, it’s not enough. You’re manipulated so that your flaws and vulnerabilities are exploited and used against you at every opportunity. You begin to feel inadequate, unlovable, and like everything is all your fault.

Sign up to the official website for free on http://www.wnaad.com/ and learn about symptoms and how to spot red flags and follow the hashtag #ifmywoundswerevisible. You will be surprised by how many people you know who have it.

There are some good books on Narcissists on Amazon, and one of them is ‘My Narcissist Mother’ https://www.amazon.co.uk/My-Narcissistic-Mother-narcissistic-mother-ebook/dp/B015R9YQHG/ref=sr_1_12?ie=UTF8&qid=1498224587&sr=8-12&keywords=narcissistic+mother (I have not been paid to recommend this book)

Mental Health Awareness Week: The Daily Mirror and the Duchess of Cambridge with the Anxious Child

I was disturbed to see the photograph of the young child who was seen suffering from anxiety whilst meeting the Duchess of Campaign.

When you see a child with lack of self-esteem, you need to ‘dig deeper’ and find out why and how he can be supported. There could be many reasons why the child experienced this condition, what was his home situation like, did he have pushy parents,what about his schooling, and how he gets on with teachers and fellow school kids. All sorts of things.

The Daily Mirror said he ‘was shy’ but there is a difference between being shy and having a social anxiety attack. And being ‘shy’ is ok, many people are shy. Why be humoured for being shy? Being photographed globally for being ‘shy’ as a ‘bad thing’ adds shame to people. Maybe the kid will deal with it ok when they get older, but many people are shy or have social anxiety for life. It is just a condition, and nothing to be ashamed of, despite our society being made for extroverts.

The close shot photo of the child, splashed over the pages, of the internet with his name would make things worse of a child with social anxiety, as humiliation is part of the condition. The media are often ignorant of mental health and often have no training in Mental Health First Aid.

As it is Mental Awareness Week the media and parents need to learn about social anxiety and how to manage it.

I suffered from social anxiety as a child so I see the photograph as ‘troubling’. If I was a parent or teacher, I would prefer to encourage self-esteem and confidence in a child. Sometimes they just need a bit of support. I would also get a child psychologist in.

If you have a child with similar symptoms to the little boy, please read the link on NHS link http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/social-anxiety/Pages/Social-anxiety.aspx#children