World Narcissist Abuse Awareness Day 1 June 2017

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Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day (WNAAD) occurs on June 1st every year. Established in 2016, WNAAD is a growing global movement dedicated to raising the profile of narcissistic abuse, providing public education, resources for survivors, and effect policy change. WNAAD is an international event that is recognized worldwide.

Many of the people who suffer from narcissistic abuse (a form of psychological and emotional abuse) aren’t even aware that what they are experiencing is a legitimate form of abuse, and when they become aware they are being abused, they have a difficult time describing it because it’s so hard to put the finger on. So much of it can be covert.

WNAAD came up with the hashtag, #IfMyWoundsWereVisible, because unlike physical abuse where a single strike or blow, narcissist abuse is generally invisible. An indiscernible assault on the spirit, identity, and the psyche of the victim. The impact is cumulative, and its full effect isn’t felt until the damage is extensive. Although bruises and broken bones heal much faster than a broken spirit, narcissistic abuse tends to go unnoticed.

Narcissist Abuse is controlling, anti-social and manipulative behaviour. Narcissist abuse is experienced everywhere, workplaces, religious groups, education, not for profits, in the armed forces, and families.

It is also important that those in Human Resources know about narcissist abuse in the workplace, often the victim is not believed.

People need to learn about ‘Red Flags’ before they enter into a relationship with someone and recognize them in workplaces early on, and learn how to handle them and avoid them. Many people living or working in close proximity to full on narcissists have had to leave their family or place of work, some have had Complex PTSD because of the abuse.

My own experience of narcissist abuse experience ranges from emotional neglect, lack of empathy from the abuser , abnormal hostile behaviour ‘behind closed doors’ at home or in the workplace, smear campaigns, emotional blackmail, secretive behaviour, mind games – the abuser makes everything your fault, financial blackmail, lack of support by fellow colleague or family member, anti social behaviour, passive aggressiveness, covert, controlling and public humiliating behaviour, violence and betrayal. Walking on eggshells every day too. Both men and women can be narcissists, and many people have parents and siblings who are ‘narcs’.

Some red flags in a relationship, for example, according to WNAAD.com:

◾As the relationship becomes more established, you may start to see some stronger warning signs, or red flags, such as: You may spot bigger lies, and when you confront them, you never get a straight answer or they will turn it around and accuse you of what they’re actually doing.

◾If you try to raise an issue with them, it becomes a full-blown argument. They may accuse you of causing the fight, or they may use the silent treatment as a way of punishing you for confronting them.
◾Arguments feel circular and nonsensical. You’re left feeling emotionally battered and confused. There is no resolution to the issue, no sense of compromise or seeking a win/win outcome. It feels like they need to “win” regardless of the issue or what’s at stake. You’re left you feeling unsupported and misunderstood.

◾They may tell you something didn’t happen when you know it did, or vice versa. This is called gaslighting and it’s designed to make you doubt your own reality and judgment.

◾You feel like you need to ask for permission before making plans with others. They may try to control where you go, or call and text constantly to check up on you, and interrogate you about where you’ve been/what you’ve been doing.

◾You start seeing less of your family and friends. Perhaps because they openly prevent you from doing so through guilt tripping or threats of abandonment. Or, it could be more subtle, where they make such a fuss about seeing your family and friends that you start avoiding them so you don’t have to deal with the fallout. You end up feeling isolated and lonely.

◾The relationship feels one-sided – like you are the one who is doing all the giving, the one who is always in the wrong, the one who is trying the hardest, changing the most or doing the most sacrificing, just to make them happy. And it still doesn’t work. Nothing is enough for them.

◾You can’t feel at ease or relaxed in their presence. You feel like you’re walking on eggshells, waiting for the next time they lash out at you. You realize you feel a sense of relief when they aren’t there.

◾You feel like whatever you do, it’s not enough. You’re manipulated so that your flaws and vulnerabilities are exploited and used against you at every opportunity. You begin to feel inadequate, unlovable, and like everything is all your fault.

Sign up to the official website for free on http://www.wnaad.com/ and learn about symptoms and how to spot red flags and follow the hashtag #ifmywoundswerevisible. You will be surprised by how many people you know who have it.

There are some good books on Narcissists on Amazon, and one of them is ‘My Narcissist Mother’ https://www.amazon.co.uk/My-Narcissistic-Mother-narcissistic-mother-ebook/dp/B015R9YQHG/ref=sr_1_12?ie=UTF8&qid=1498224587&sr=8-12&keywords=narcissistic+mother (I have not been paid to recommend this book)

2017 My New Year’s Resolutions

Here goes, folks. I like to give myself realistic and positive goals.

  1. To declutter my house. I tend to keep stuff just in case I need it. However, I realise that I don’t use a lot of my clothes and craft stuff. It is taking up a lot of space and I want more space this year. Also because I store a lot of stuff, I buy stuff again because I can’t find things. I also want to get more coat hangers too and keeps things more tidy.
  2. Borrow a Doggy from Borrowmydoggy to help an owner walk their dog and for me to have more exercise and get more experience with dogs.
  3. Go on a floristry workshop and practice some new techniques.
  4. Ban chocolate,coca cola and porky scratchings from my house and get people who see it to remove them. These are my weaknesses!Imust only have them on special occasions.
  5. Take part in Dry January and raise awareness to others. This also means you could get free meals too and some sponsors give you benefits
  6. Take part in Bullyonline campaigns, Alcohol Concern, Domestic Violence issues, Personal Safety, Road Safety and anti drugs campaign charities.
  7. Make my own granola breakfasts and actually eat it
  8. Cook more and try new things
  9. Improve massage techniques to improve wellbeing
  10. Be more minimalistic – help the planet, save money, create more space, have more me time
  11. Lead a more hygge lifestyle
  12. Support Lush as they do some excellent products
  13. Continue to make my own beauty products without toxins and raise awareness
  14. Take up Nordic Walking (I have already bought some poles)
  15. Ramble more locally along the footpaths and do a lot more walking. Join walking groups
  16. Listen more. People like to be listened to.
  17. Have no technology days or evenings.
  18. Read a novel,  and make time for this. I have been struggling to make time for reading. Hopefully, having a more minimalistic lifestyle it will be easier.
  19. Go on free tours in London’s Museums and learn more about history
  20. Make more crafts to give away for Christmas
  21. Buy things over the year for Christmas to save money
  22. Mix with people who lead a positive lifestyle
  23. Do more art and crafts
  24. Continue to look after the wild birds
  25. Have a more healthier lifestyle and inspire others
  26. Eat more fish
  27. Read more poetry
  28. Read to other people
  29. Sometimes do nothing
  30. Improve my computer’s memory by clearing up old files
  31. Watch more ‘feel good’black and white or colour movies
  32. Go to the Buddhist centre more often and read more Buddhist literature

UPDATES to follow