I was brought up with ‘neatfreaks’ and it affected me so badly I became anxious and even more untidy.
I kind of ‘gave up’ with all the nagging, and all the things I am supposed to think of. Whatever I would do, would never be good enough to an obsessive neatfreak. Some of the stuff they think of could not even cross an ordinary person’s mind sometimes.
I hate being near people who are ‘neatfreaks’, and you will that you are being ‘watched like a hawk’ in the house all the time. Your home feels like a prison. Sometimes the person in the house, would only talk to you about tidying and cleaning. It was soul destroying being that in narrow, conversational environment. They even hoover in a way that is ‘fast and aggressive’, with the odd passive aggressive ‘tuts’ here and there.
I have a different attitude to them. I was quite relaxed and would tidy up when I was in the mood, had time or would put a little away as soon as possible. Needless to say that my relaxed attitude, made them go ballistic! Some of these ‘neatfreaks’ were cleaning even late at night. Some people literally DO clean up all day, for hours and hours.
I used to see my relatives spending all day cleaning. I thought too much of this was a complete waste of time and they were making themselves ill with the anxiety they brought on themselves. Some of neatfreak ideas caused arguments, not just with me, but with other people in the household too. I have met people who have divorced because of their controlling behaviour, so children suffer too. They were becoming so stressed by dirt and spare socks that they were becoming neurotic.
They often spend money on buying the most toxic chemicals out,and the kitchen cupboards are full of this nasty stuff, and you smell toxic vapour round the house. I am a Apple Cider Vinegar person, so it can be vinegary but at least it is not toxic and does a pretty good job at getting rid of dirt. Ironically, I have less ‘cleaning clutter’ in the house too.
Personally I prefer a bit of balance. It is important that stuff is cleared to avoid tripping over or it becoming a fire hazard, but today’s obsession is getting ridiculous. People are spending too much valuable time cleaning and tidying, that they are having no life and they are looking miserable and their sense of humour goes. I can’t understand that fridges etc have to be clean, and that is fine, but in the house, it can get well over the top. Endless telly ads about cleaning products just adds to the malaise, and pressure from society in general.
For me, their behaviour affected my own wellbeing. It made me feel depressed to be nagged constantly or humiliated by ‘having lectures’. I know they were right in some way, and I can understand that, but as I have said, the obsession with tidying and cleaning all the time , can affect one’s own mental health.
Some kids are unable to have pets because the parents hate dogs as they make the house ‘a mess’ and the kids lose out. Some of my own family was like that. Tidy people are very controlling and untidy people ‘just want a peaceful life’.
We are only on this earth a short time, and tidying and obsessively cleaning, is a waste of our time. For me, I really have to be away from ‘neatfreaks’, they can be miserable, negative and waste too much of their lives cleaning. Some of them have done ‘nothing’ in their lives, compared to some untidy people who would rather spend their time doing something of benefit, to others, say volunteer work, than spending all day cleaning, and possibly having a short life, due to the stress of tidying and cleaning the house all the time. We maybe untidy, but we can be happier, and more relaxed. Some of us like a bit of ‘stuff’ although when it becomes obsessive, like with some hoarders it can be a problem. Some of us suffer from depression or can’t see that well, so cleaning and tidying can be extra difficult.
The most important thing is to be happy, and if that means you have remove yourself from a neatfreak, do so! Don’t let them get you down. It is up to them if they want a miserable life, but you don’t have to!
Another link to a messy person’s blog you may enjoy https://www.bustle.com/articles/66286-11-things-messy-people-will-never-understand-about-neat-freaks
Domestic Abuse: How Neatfreaks affect family https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Opr9v4e2w0w