I have come to realise my family is toxic. They have some good points of course, but their toxic points break trust. I don’t trust my family. They can say one thing and do another. If they go quiet, you wonder if they are ‘up to something’ behind your back. Quite frankly, you never know where you are with them, the mind games are getting too much. They take you for granted.
There is no point to dealing with them anymore. They won’t understand you. They will continue as they do. Yadda Yadda. You have to have boundaries.
I have started to go No Contact. I didn’t get involved in any arguments but I calmly stated that ‘what they did was hurtful’ . (I kept it simple). (Then I blocked them instantly. They have already noticed). What they did will affect their family forever.
My main aim is to ‘get them to see what they did’ and that it is wrong, and apologise. I don’t think this will ever happen though. My plan is No Contact for as long as it takes, marking of ‘family events’ that normally I should be there. It will go from 30 days, to six months to up to a year and then tnen we will see. If there is still nothing, then I will know exactly where I stand. It is going to be interesting as I live near them and it will be ‘awkward’. However, they made their bid. I am going to have a dignified silence.
I am trying to distract myself by meeting new people, doing new things and being with nice people and learning a lot about Self Care.
Let these toxic people not take our minds